Teenage Dirtbag
by kirklandia
Summary: Gakuen Hetalia AU - Gilbert Beildschmidt is the schoool misfit who is (ironically) head over heels in love with Roderich Edelstein, the student body vice president. Roderich has a girlfriend and Gilbert makes bad choices.
1. Chapter 1

Gilbert sauntered down the hallway of the crowded school, his uniform shirt untucked and his zip-up hoodie hanging off of his shoulder. He flung his messenger bag over his shoulder and grinned at the passing students, high fiving a few of them as he passed.

_The World Academy_. That's what the prestigious high school was known as. No one ever found the need to specify exactly which one they were talking about because it was so well known. The World Academy was the most honored culturally diverse school to have ever been established. Only the best of the best were allowed in and usually only one student was chosen from an entire nation. _Usually_.

Gilbert Beildschmidt was one of the very few exceptions. Gilbert's younger brother, Ludwig, was a very talented young man. He was very athletic, very tall and wide and all muscle. He was very intelligent and excelled in every subject. And on top of all, in addition to all his talents, Ludwig was also very handsome; his golden blond hair always slicked back, his bright blue eyes always shining, his skin light but not too pale, and his deep voice flowing beautifully with every word. The World Academy had been watching him since age ten, and they knew that they wanted him to attend their school. Gilbert was the exact opposite. He had few talents, wasn't nearly as tall as his brother, and wasn't exactly "handsome". With his paper white skin, silver hair, scratchy voice, and red eyes he was the last thing the World Academy wanted in their school. Gilbert was finally accepted into the school—only after Ludwig refused to attend once he was of age unless his brother was allowed to as well.

There was something special about Gilbert however: his massive ego. Gazing in the mirror, Gilbert thought he was fucking gorgeous, uber intelligent and, in general, the best human to boastfully walk the planet.

Looking up from another casual fist bump with a fellow student, Gilbert stopped dead in his tracks. His cherry red eyes met a striking pair of royal purple ones. Gilbert's breath hitched and he literally could not tear his eyes away. He just stood still in the middle of the hallway, the random bustle of students not even noticing him. The owner of said eyes however, couldn't have noticed more. After their brief contact, the owner of the purple irises didn't register Gilbert's admiration.

Roderich Edelstein aka Mr. Perfect Piano face aka Student Council vice president aka the love of Gilbert Beildschmidt's life. Ever since they had met their freshman year, he knew that, all bullshit aside, this was the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

However, they rarely spoke and there were plenty of reasons. One: that Gilbert couldn't be within a five foot radius of Roderich without breaking out into a cold sweat, his heart speeding to an unhealthy pace, or his legs turning to jelly. Another reason was that the student body vice president could _never _be seen with such a misfit. Gilbert was one of the most misbehaved students throughout the entire school and if the vice president were to be seen doing anything other than scolding Gilbert, his respect would be lost. And last but not least, it was nearly impossible to tear Roderich away from his flawless girlfriend Elizaveta Héderváry. Elizaveta was a very sweet, intelligent, and beautiful young woman. She was friends with virtually everyone in the entire school. Everyone that is, except for Gilbert. Gilbert was _convinced_ it was pure jealousy of his "awesomeness," and he never failed to remind Elizaveta of her inferiority purely to make her upset. But, no matter what, the argument always ended with Gilbert sulking away, rubbing his brand new bruise. He resented Elizaveta and the satisfied smirk plastered on her porcelain face as he retreated.

Suddenly, Gilbert was slammed up against the lockers. His back crashed against the cold metal doors and he was knocked out of his trance. Gilbert's eyes snapped wide open to stare in bewilderment at the two other redundant standing in front of him.

"How long have you been standing here? People were bumping you and you didn't even notice!" The exceptionally handsome young man said, his heavy French accent rolling off of his tongue like silk.

"Yeah! Lovino bumped right into you and even called you a few names and you didn't budge!" the Spaniard said, raising an eyebrow. He bounced happily next to the French student.

"Oh… I'm sorry, you guys. I didn't realize…" Gilbert slowly trailed off trying to remember what had happened.

"It's fine, don't sweat it. Me and Francis have been looking all over the place for you! You said you would skip fourth block with us today, remember?" Antonio chirped in his Spanish lilt, his green eyes glistening as leaned forward to grab the front of Gilbert's shirt.

"No need for force, he doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to." Francis muttered, reaching a hand up to cover the Spaniard's and prying it away from Gilbert's shirt.

"Uh, no it's fine. I'm coming, sorry I forgot!" Gilbert said with a grin, tugging on the strap of his messenger bag. He took a step toward his pair of friends just as the bell rang. They quickly crammed themselves into the nearest janitor's closet for cover.

Francis Bonnefoy and Antonio Fernandez had been Gilbert's partners in crime ever since they had all met by hiding in the same bathroom stall trying to avoid the student body president. With a discussion of their mutual hatred of authority and six illegal beverages later, the three of them were best friends. Gilbert, Antonio, and Francis had silently decided never to betray one another if they were to get caught doing something stupid. They'd also agreed to never let petty relationships interfere with their bond.

Of course, that wasn't saying that the three of them couldn't have relationships. Well, not that any of them actually had ever had a legitimate relationship. Francis had _relations_ frequently, and Antonio followed Lovino around everywhere he went, but none of them had actually ever been in a lasting relationship.

After waiting for the students to drain from the hallway, Gilbert and his friends escaped the janitor's closet and sprinted through the school—Gilbert's incoherent singing the "Mission Impossible" theme, decreasing their stealth significantly—and exited through the back door of the school. The three of them snuck through the small park in between the school building and the dorms, adding unnecessary tucks and rolls along the way.

Finally, they stepped into Francis and Antonio's dorm. The three all flopped down in random seats and simultaneously let out a tired groan. Various objects ranging from churros to flags to dirty underwearwere scattered throughout the space, as to be expected from two teenage roommates and their not-technically roommate but is-always-here-anyway-so-it-doesn't-matter friend.

Gilbert stood and walked to the pantry, pulling out a candy bar and shoving it in his mouth. He collapsed onto the bed without saying a word to the other's and tried like hell to get those stupid perfect purple eyes out of his head.


	2. Chapter 2

A loud crash echoed through the room and Gilbert shot up quickly. He looked around frantically and groaned when he saw Antonio lying on the floor, tangled up like a pretzel.

"What the fuck guys?" he asked angrily, looking at the clock. He had only been asleep for 12 minutes and they had already done something to cause a ruckus.

"Sorry to wake you! I thought I saw Lovino walking by the building so I ran to the door and I fell! He mentioned coming over later on so I ya know…" An awkward laugh escaped his lips and he rubbed the back of his head. Gilbert glanced over to Francis who was sitting with his legs crossed and a laptop resting in his lap. He had headphones in and his eyes were glazed over, a serious look plastered across his face.

"Ten bucks he's watching porn," Gilbert mumbled. He scooted off of the bed and snuck over towards Francis, though he definitely didn't seem to notice anything but his computer screen. Quickly, the silver haired boy yanked the headphones from the computer.

"You are, and always have been, my dream," the computer's voice suddenly announced. Francis whipped around, shock and betrayal etched across his face. Antonio and Gilbert stared at Francis, who looked back and forth at his computer screen to the other two boys.

After a moment of silence, Antonio and Gilbert burst into laughter.

"You imbéciles know nothing of true love," he choked out grabbing his chest dramatically. Antonio began rolling around on the floor and Gilbert fell back on to the bed, clutching at his stomach hysterically.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door; they all froze.

"Merde," Francis whispered and quickly slammed his laptop shut, jumping on to his bed and slinging the cover over himself. Gilbert did the same and hissed at Antonio.

"Get under the fucking bed!" he whispered angrily.

"But it might be Lovino! He told me he may come over if I… what was it he said? I think it was 'I'll come over when a zebra drives a sports car out of my sphincter.' Or something like that? That may have happened, I'm not sure he's so silly I just-"

Antonio opened the door and his green eyes widened to the size of… they widened to the size of someone's eyes whenever they see their student body president standing at the door and tapping his foot.

"Oooh. Hi Arthur," he whimpered, cowering back slightly. Arthur's eyes pierced through him and he advanced.

"You wankers better get the hell up right now," he yelled into the room. This… _definitely_ wasn't the first time this had happened; and Arthur didn't have to be a genious to know where they were _every single time_.

Gilbert groaned loudly and kicked the covers off in a defeatedmanner. He shot a glare in Arthur's direction and received one in return. Francis slowly pulled the cover off of himself and sent a wink Arthur's way.

"Nice to see you again, mon cher," he purred, smirking at the Brit.

Arthur growled and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. "Fuck yourself frog," he spat angrily, looking around the room and clenching his fists.

This was becoming a routine for them all. Arthur already had many of his credits so he had a few extra periods in which he would walk around the school, making sure everyone was doing what they should be doing and making sure they were where they were supposed to be. He had quickly realized that Antonio, Gilbert, and Francis often skipped class to just come up to their dorms and do God knows what.

"Why are you three not in class?" Arthur asked in a monotone voice like he had very many times before. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, raising one of his eyebrows.

"We were… Gilbert forgot his… underwear?" The Spaniard said with a quiet giggle. He didn't even try to come up with good excuses anymore, glancing over his shoulder he grinned at the other two. Gilbert laughed aloud but Francis only rolled his eyes.

"Are none of you afraid of being expelled? You know this isn't even a little fucking funny. You all are taking away from my free period. There are so many other things I could be doing right now," Arthur growled angrily, his cheeks reddening as he took another step towards Antonio.

Instead of cowering away, the Spaniard stood up straight and grinned. "We're sorry Arthur, but if you were gonna' report us you would have done already."

"I… You… I could-"

Suddenly, music began to blare from Arthur's pocket. Everyone stared as Arthur's hand shot down quicker than ever to snatch up the phone and answer. American Idiot by green day blasted through the otherwise silent room.

"Yes what do you…" He got quiet and a dark red blush crept across his cheeks. "I… I see… I'll be there in five minutes," he half-whispered into the phone. He snapped it shut, looking back at the snickering Trio.

"I don't know what's so funny but— I… You're free to go for now," Arthur snapped. "I have to go and um… Meeting… Five minutes…" He mumbled as he left the room far faster than he had entered.

"What was up with him you think? What sort of meeting did he really have?" Antonio asked, glancing at Francis and tilting his head.

"Oh, you haven't heard, mon ami? Apparently, the idiot American is Sir Arthur's booty call," Francis said in a matter-of-fact tone; he was in on every single relationship at The World Academy.

"I thought Alfred was dating that one bimbo. What's her name, Natalya?" Gilbert chimed in. He raised an eyebrow and situated himself on the edge of the bed, leaning forward as to insert himself in the conversation even more.

"Well, he is… Let me explain it this way. Alfred and Natalya are dating. I am sure they care about each other but I feel like they are both just covering up something for the other. In Alfred's case, it's him bending Arthur over his desk and doing him in his office. I haven't quite figured out Natalya's yet though. So in all technicality, Alfred is cheating but in the long run I doubt Natalya would mind." Francis sat up straight and crossed his arms, looking out of the window. "But that's none of my business."

After a few moments of silence Antonio spoke up. "As long as they are happy!" he said with a large grin. "But speaking of relationships…" he said, tapping his chin and quirking his eyebrow, "How is your expedition to get that fine Austrian booty going, Gilbert?"

Gilberts face turned a deep shade of red and he choked on the air in the room. "I don't know what you are talking about man! I got over him like the day I met him! He's totally a douche, I'm after uh…" he coughed nervously and scratched his neck. "I am after uh… Michelle! Yeah, boobs are so great right?" he forced out a laugh.

Francis gave him an odd look but sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "If you say so."

An awkward silence settled in the room and they as they all looked at the ceiling or out of the window to avoid eye contact.

Gilbert bit his lip and looked at the other two. "So who's up for getting drunk?

**A.N. heyo guys so sorry this took a reeeeeeally long time to start back up I feel so suck but yeah lots of stuff has been going on and also school and just bleh. But yeah so I will be getting into some pruaus very soon but we had to have a little background didn't we? Thank you guys so much for reviews and follows and such, they make me so happy! P.S. this chapter was beta'd by ff user graysam thanks bb!**


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